The following is taken from a conversation log of April 21, 2005:
(15:35:57) Brandon: You ever hear of Ann Coulter?
(15:36:27) Brandon: She's a Republican fuck puppet.
(15:36:54) Brandon: I spent some time on the Time Magazine website reading some of her quotes.
(15:37:58) Mark: yeah - Henry Rollins is infatuated with her.
(15:38:03) Mark: He calls her Ann Hitler.
(15:38:16) Brandon: She's said some of the, seriously, no contest here, most ignorant and rediculous things I've ever heard anyone say about politics.
(15:38:39) Mark: That's fantastic.
(15:39:26) Brandon: She'd probably be the best competition for sarcastic political humor that the Daily Show would ever see if only she were joking.
(15:45:42) Brandon: Seriously, I started thinking objectively about the things that come out of this woman's mouth and realized that if I ignore the fact that she's the dirty mouthpiece for right-wing extremists, I don't feel quite so bad about wanting to give it to her from behind.
(15:47:05) Brandon: I think it's the skirts... honestly, the predilection for those business-like skirt suits sets me up.
(15:56:49) Brandon: Yeah, I figured I'd lost you on this one.
(15:59:15) Mark: nah - I'm down with the skirts.
(16:04:16) Brandon: You think she'd give it up to Rollins?
(16:05:27) Mark: heck yes I do
(16:06:08) Brandon: I'd surrender handfuls of my own cash to see that live and in person.
(16:06:38) Mark: haha
Do I really think you want to read my dull chatlogs? No, I'm not that kind of blogger. This is a vehicle to propel some crap at you. You know, kind of like American Idol is a vehicle to propel Coca-Cola, Ford and Cingular Wireless products at you. I share a little anecdote about Ann Coulter on the business end of good ol' Hank's johnson and then I hit you with the product, however tengentially related:
Apparently, I'm not the only one thinking about this, because I'd say that to write a story like this, you've got to have motivation. Now, to write a sequel, not only do you have to have perseverance, but you've got to be creative with your sexual synonyms. Seriously, you know you wouldn't have come up with "Brown Bay Packer", "crap valve" and "yawning fudge mine". For serious here folks, the only people that come up with that shit are Tycho and Gabe, and even they wouldn't be caught saying ham-trap or baby-wallet. This series of erotic shorts is genius and made me laugh aloud while I should have been doing my job. Now the engineers think I find web programming hilarious and that a chocolate socket and pork pipe have something to do with virtual networking.
Now if you perform a Lexis Nexis query for "Coulter" and "anal" or just read Wonkette every day, you'll find that the fibers connecting these two aren't so thin as my simple will for it, but, in fact, there are many, many people that cannot tell the difference between the words "meat donut" and "Ann Coulter".
Update: Wonkette really never ceases to amuse me. I give you Snoop vs Coulter. Actually... that's a good idea for the next Def Jam fighting game, "Def Jam: Fight For DC". First Hank vs Harlem, now Snoop vs. Coulter. I'd play it.
Father of the Metal Gear Solid franchise Hideo Kojima has the most interesting analogy to describe the next generation of video game console systems. Soon as he started talking about steak, he instantly had my attention. (That and the photo looks like it was lifted fom a state sex offender registry)
If you allow me to express the three hardware platforms in a funny example, PS3 would be like a dinner that you only have once a year or twice a year on your anniversary etc.Xbox 360 will still be a special dinner so you might go there two or three times a month on the weekend or Revolution is the kind of great dinner that you have everyday at your home. What I want to emphasize is that all three are dinners meaning that they have a salad, they have a soup and maybe have a dessert but they are a little differently, maybe other dinners have two salads or two appetizers or maybe extra coffee on top of that. The point is that they are all individualistic dinners. So if they are all dinners, like a steak dinner, the choice is up to the users and the game designers at the same time.
If the game creators and the users want to have a great steak for their anniversary, they go maybe to PS3. But if they want great dinner, great steak with their family, a little bit more casual during the weekends, they might select Xbox 360. Or why not have a great steak at your house everyday, they might choose Revolution. So my impression of the battle between the consoles is, it’s not about what kind of dinner it is. It’s more about how much the dinner will be. Will it be worth the cost of being served? Or where can I have this dinner - number of restaurants, is it near my house or do I have to take a cab or train or bus? I think the battle amongst the next-gen platforms lies in that area.
Before you preorder you PS3 or Xbox360 and Outback Steakhouse or Peter Luger's; on behalf of gamers everywhere, allow me to ask: Hideo, What the fuck are you talking about?
This apparently does not beat the Barbara Walters interview where Anne Heche goes way off the deep end. Way way off.
I dug this:
"Hi, I'm Barbara Walters. I know you're waiting for some kind of comment or something, but I can't really talk right now, because Anne Heche blew my mind."
I woke up late this morning which isn't that special in it of itself, but it did allow me to remember what I was dreaming with greater bit of clarity than usual. I just remember thinking on the train that the dream I was having would probably make a good movie. It was something along the lines of "Groundhog's Day" mixed with equal parts of "War of the Worlds" but reminiscent of Philip K. Dick's "Adjustment Team". Maybe it was more like this book I read a while ago "Replay" in which a guy forced to relive his life up until the point of death, but then relived it again when he die, but from a moment closer to his actual time of death. Bah whatever... It was a bad ass dream.
I hate running out of the house late, so late in fact that I have to skip taking a shower. I don't mind showering at night, but I NEED to shower in the morning to get my day started. Most people have coffee, I have the shower. Without a shower in the morning I feel like a zombie. I feel like a bad copy of myself made out of grease and ash, like I am brittle and making the wrong move too quickly and I will loose cohesion.
Haven't written anything in a while thanks to a fine mix of work and procrastination. There have been alot of things that I have WANTED to write about, but just never completed the though to get to it. I wanted to write a reaction Episode III and the whole Xbox360 / PS3 deal. E3 provided me we an abundance of "Hey, look at that!" moments, but instead I have a metric fuck-ton of articles saved on BlongLines and maybe I'll get to go through them all.
For starters, Xbox360 vs. PS3:
Which one will have Burnout, Silent Hill and Wipeout? Fuck the other one. If the Xbox360 is backwards compatible, I would think about it a little more, but I really don't need an extra piece of hardware just to play Halo. If the Revolution is as revolutionary as it sounds (is that a pun? sorry) maybe I'll get one. MS and Sony can duke it out over the primary spot, but you can't know the big N for making some of the most cherished items in all of console-dom. The talk about being able to rock the entire 20 year back catalog of Nintendo on the Revloution has peaked my interest. I keep the N64 and SNES around for Tetrisphere and Secret of Mana because playing it emulated is a bit shite, but once again, I'm interested. As a side note, I LOVE playing with MarioPaint emulated. Using ZSnes with mouse compatibility makes for HOURS of enjoyment. That music composer and bug game 0wn me.
On paper I think the PS3 gives the Xbox360 a run for it's money. Sony does have a history of over-promising and under-delivering and MS pretty much owns the online gaming market with XboxLive. No one seems to be challenging them on that one either, but they are all striving for some type of media convergence device integrating gaming, video and audio in one box; which is great as long as it's not overburdened with DRM, incompatibilities and general copyright/capitalist suckiness. But I don't give a shit if it supports OGG.
Episode III is what it was. I + II and a bunch of wookies. It would have been cool to see more wookies. I like wookies. Was it just me or did the Emperor kinda look like a child molester? Through out half of the movie it seemed that his only driving force was to tap Anakin's boy-ass. And on that note, Hayden Christensen is a bad BAD actor and should get hit by a bus; the same bus in fact that his Ben Affleck earlier.
Oh… In the school marching band, I scratch.
Mark, Enjoy Germany. I am utterly amazed that you have never been on a plane but being the Linux loving slut you are your actually going out of the country for a conference. You always were the better programmer. Just don't get arrested there, I hear the police are real nazis. ^_^
Enjoy a stein bier for me and uh, don't buy the soap.
Yeah, you guessed it... it's doo-doo, baby.
It seems that Dave Chappelle has had some sort of breakdown because of the pressures on him to deliver greatness, and so he got on a plane to Cape Town, South Africa to check himself into a mental health facility there. The award for the most hilariously uncompassionate headline I've seen yet, goes to Gawker's "I'm 'Mentally Ill', Bitch"
But can it be true that craigslist has more than one personality... horny? Aside from the urgent hookups and shady calls for a "model/actor" for your new "independent film" of gay cowboys eating pudding, apparently, craigslist has a sense of humor, too.
Don't go away angry, you'll still be able to use criagslist to find another albino melon-fucker who's into erotic piercing suspension and would like to watch lesbian beastiality with you, but right now, Dave Chappelle needs some help and fuck you if we can't even laugh a little about it.
Maybe Dave went to South Africa to join the Nelson Mandela Boot Camp so he could get his life in line.
I have been accumulating alot of weird and wonderful links via BoingBoing RSS. If I tab anymore articles in BlogLines I will not be able to receive any new ones. This forces me to dump some of them on you.
One of such is the BaconAids... Yes, Oh yes. Savory BaconAids
Memento Nyotaimori : Sushi served on a naked lady.
nyo (女) - woman
tai (体) - body
mori (盛り) - helping, plateful, serving, arrangement, etc.
While we're on the Japanese thing:
J-Pop Star + Ringu Prank = A.T. Punk'du
From LA Craigslist:Assistance Wanted.
You can call me Amy. I'm a reporter for a prominent Los Angeles newspaper. My friend was kidnapped last month while we were working on a story on drug-runners in Mexico. The authorities have given me the run-around. In short, I have a problem, and no one else can help. Can I hire you?
I'm looking for a crew of approximately four -- a pilot, a veteran with leadership qualities, a bouncer-type who knows his way around a welding torch, and a face-man. Crack commando experience a plus. Own van and car a plus. Access to cropduster a definite plus.
Almost as much fun as finding your boss' listing on JDate ^_^ (Don't Ask)
But not nearly as fun as the demo videos for fucked up commercially available products like SSI Shredder and E-Z Catch Chicken Harvester. Come to think of it... I think they are the same thing with different nozzle attachments.
My world is complete, A Random Vin Diesel Fact Generator.
It's Very Sifl & Olly Rock Facts, example:
Fact: Vin Diesel drinks the blood of Virgins with a slight hint of Paprika
One day, I will publish a novel using this: GoogleTalk
I will call it "This is not a novel: A Novel"
(Wow, we came up with that 3 years ago and it still works TeeHee ^_^ )
Be scared: I've discovered ChickenHead. Don't worry, not that kind. Sick bastard.
Cheers.
Hey! Brando, Mark ! Write another entry damnit. The internet is beginning to bore me. Nothing I read has had a significant update in a while and I'm starting to think that the internet is becoming stale. I even started some comment-fodder on Mark's site and was insighting a comment flame war on the UNKLE board, but all is quiet on the western front. I have nothing to read or write at work and it's messing with me. I might actually have to start doing extra assignments to fill the void.
I have realized that I am not a creative individual myself, but actually feed off of and process the work of others. I consume, analyze and redistribute any creative works. I am the component sum of all the audio, video and literature I take in.
I have become so desperate that I actually watched the last 4 Suske episodes of Naruto... I WAS THAT BORED!!! On a lighter note, at least something is happening, but now I'm left with this whole impending battle cocktease witn no resolution or closure. I'm going to take a nap and waste some more of my youth... BAH!
